My eighth grade year I decided to defy everything quiet Katrya was (and still is) and run for school president. This was a huge leap for me and I remember thinking more than once I should just quit. After speeches were given, all of the candidates were given ballots to vote as well. Although a very secret and personal affair, and no one would know or care, I voted for my opponent…
At the time I had this idea that it would be selfish and egoistic if I voted for myself, AGAIN— even if no one would know.
I haven’t realized until recently what I was doing to myself. The other day in a car drive home from the store, my mom told me I should do something in the science and math field. Laughing, I told her we both knew I sucked at math AND science. I want to do something with writing and literature and journalism, and to my surprise, my mom flat out said, “Katrya, you’re not good at writing.” It was odd to hear from my mom because she’s the one who usually praises me for my little works of literature.
I suck at math and science, and I though something with creativity and writing was the way to go for me. If I’m not good at that…then what is my purpose?
Later that week, I was scolded after a gathering because of a sarcastic comment I made. I had a cousin who just finished with her studies to become a doctor. To my surprise, her mom told me that she too wanted to do something creative and artsy with writing, but her mom ruled against it and put her through with medical school. I replied with something along the lines of “Well isn’t that great? Destroying dreams is always fun.” Because it’s true. Doesn’t it seem selfish to live someone’s life for them?
Since then, I’ve decided on two things:
- I need to be my own cheerleader.
- Screw what anyone else says.
Eighth grade Katrya needed to be her own cheerleader. I needed someone to cheer me on through my small struggles and large stresses. I needed to vote for myself, because if even I don’t vote for myself, who will? I think we all need to rally for ourselves sometimes. If you don’t believe in yourself, why the hell should other people? If you don’t cheer yourself on and if you don’t shamelessly promote yourself, who will?
This goes along with the idea of loving oneself. If you can’t love yourself, if you don’t believe in yourself, how will other people? How will I possibly convince someone that I do great work and I’m worth their time if even I don’t believe that? As dorky as it seems, let yourself know that you’re great sometimes…because we all need that little push once in a while.
I want to run up to eighth grade Katrya that election day and let her know that I’m a little late, but I was always rooting for her.